Corporations

Somtimes I find it fascinating how weak I am. I sit here, reading about allocating risk among agents and owners in corporations, and know with zero doubt that this is a waste of precious life and yet I do nothing about it. I know that if I am absurdly lucky I'll have 45 years left on the earth, and I know that I'm not exaclty a believer in the afterlife and yet I am content wasting any amount of time reading this material. It's truly startling how, while not happy about it, I'm somehow content spending valuable minutes doing such work. Why am I not throwing caution to the wind, moving to another country, meeting random folks, experiencing different cultures, studying astronomy and the history of the world, and documenting all my experiences along the way? We're given one life in my opinion, how the hell am I content to waste it away in a library studying a topic I have no interest in. Studying a topic that I firmly know is a waste of MY life (disclaimer: it can be perfectly valuable for those who truly want to spend their lives engrossed in such topics). It's kind of odd that I grew up to be a person who would lack the bravado to live his life the way he should. I don't think it's too late though. Perhaps I'll blend practicality and haste and finish school, then live the life that's only existed in my mind. I'm largely a hypocrite when I self righteously position myself as the guy who thinks this is all bullshit and we should all inject meaning in our lives aligned with the precise experiences we want. All that's true, but I haven't proven to be the guy that acts on it. Seriously what the fuck.